44 Medieval Beasts That Cannot Even Handle It Right Now, lifted 100 per cent from Buzzfeed, by Louisa Young
I've lifted it, to be precise, from here
1. This griffin cannot handle it right now.
2. This basilisk just CAN’T with these snakes.
4. This crocodile just wants it all to STOP.
5. This cat just…just CANNOT cope with this mouse.
6. This wingèd asp cannot cope with this man’s book, not even a little bit.
7. This boar thought he had it under control but he did not.
8. This dragon has LITERALLY NOT ONE CLUE why everybody has frogs coming out of their mouths.
9. This basilisk is totally losing its shit with the ferret questioning its decision to murder that guy.
10. These cats have LITERALLY NO IDEA what they’re doing any more.
11. This whale just realised it left the gas on and OH GOD.
12. This panther COMPLETELY FORGOT it had invited friends round for lunch.
13. This wolf has just had ENOUGH of today and wants it to be over.
14. This bear is just like “what now?” with this guy.
15. This bear is FREAKING OUT over these bagpipes.
16. This cat has had it RIGHT UP TO HERE with this stringed instrument.
17. This cat should NEVER have asked that donkey to join the band.
18. This centaur KNOWS what the mermaid is like when she’s had a few drinks and doesn’t know why he ever invited her to meet his friends.
19. This yale has completely run out of fucks to give.
20. This dragon is all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
21. This lion has totally lost it because of that tree.
22. This crocodile thinks it should have stayed in bed today.
23. This crocodile agrees.
24. This dragon-human hybrid is just “I am SO DONE with all this crap.”
25. This dragon has NO GODDAMN IDEA why it has a king’s head all of a sudden.
27. “Ugh, knights.” – this dragon
28. “Ugh, dragons.” – this elephant
29. “Ugh, elephants.” – this dragon
30. “No, but seriously, fuck dragons.” – this elephant
32. Horse, are you alright?
33. What’s wrong, manticore?
34. WHY HAS MARGARET OF ANTIOCH JUST EMERGED FROM YOUR BODY, DRAGON?
35. Why are you using a pizza oven, rabbit?
36. Rabbit, are you pole-dancing?
37. This pard cannot handle ANY of this. It JUST…CAN…NOT.
38. NONE of this dragon’s heads can cope with this.
39. This hedgehog SIMPLY CAN’T with the mole flying above it.
40. This owl has HAD IT with all these fucking tiny birds pecking its man-face.
41. “Nope.” – this giraffe
42. This dog cannot even remember why it started chasing a goat across a page of heraldic symbols. WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
43. These elephants just CANNOT with their big trumpet faces.
44. And this dragon is beginning to realise just how badly he’s fucked all this up.
10 comments:
My favourite is still the basilisk. That's probably a weasel it's glaring at, not a ferret - and the basilisk is maybe looking terrified as well as angry, because weasels were supposed to be the only thing in nature that could kill the basilisk. Although the British Library manuscripts catalogue simply has the following: "Detail of a miniature of a basilisk and two victims of its murderous gaze, a man and a ermine or ferret" so maybe I'm wrong.
Loved this, like, totes.
I think my favourite may be the crocodile at No. 4 who quite obviously does just want it all to stop. But also the basilisk (2) who just can't with the snakes.
The whale who left the gas on! - 11.
The wolf - oh, how I feel for that wolf - who just wants the day to be over.
Thanks for sharing it - I'll be sharing it with a few.
And that pard at no.37.
I love them all, poor put-upon creatures. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you Becca! I knew someone would know something useful.
Personally I am often the wingèd asp that cannot cope with this man’s book, not even a little bit. And of course we all know that mermaid.
Rabbits often turn out to be hares in medieval illuminations and are a symbol of cowardice. To be hare-hearted was a big insult. So frequently you will see hares in military situations as ironic or snarky comment. Ditto snails. Not that the pizza bunny has anything to do with this, but the one on guard fits the brief. :-)
Number 8 - the frogs represent unclean spirits, with reference to Revelation 16:13.
Number 12- REALLY oddly, apparently "when the panther awakes from a nap, its breath is so sweet that all the animals, except the dragon, gather around to sniff it."
Number 16 - the cat is playing a rebec, a fore-runner of the violin.
25 and 26 are very interesting - they both contain a dragon with a human head, a crescent moon with 5 stars, and a sword. 25 contains a scribble that could read 'papa'/pope so I suppose the picture might be a reference to the anti-pope, the crescent moon indicating a waning power, or the rise of a new one. (ha, just checked the BL record for 26 - representing the papacy of Urban VI whose election was contested and resulted in the appointment of the anti-pope Clement VII."
Well that was fun! :)
This is enormous fun! You should publish it as a Christmas book, honest you should. I'd buy it!
Loved it!
So much fun, Louisa. We seem to be having a beastly time on the History Girls this month.
Becca, Thank you!
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